I knew the game obviously a lot later than my love for cricket, and despite the differences, I love them both.
One of the highlight of baseball is the eternal duel between the pitcher (the one who throw the ball from the middle) and also the batter (the one who hits the ball, obviously)
The pitcher always have this big ego. Ego where he wants to get the batter out, no matter which way. Get him to strike 3 times (strike out) or get the batter to hit a fly ball into one of his fielder.
The batter have ego too. And a lot simple. To kill the pitcher. Hit him for home run or just hit him around the park. That way will destroy his confidence, get him replaced by another pitcher, wins you games.
Easy?
No.
I found myself as the pitcher recently.
I know that the next batter is the one that I've been aiming for quite a while now. Excellent batter, hits hard, hits plenty of home run, people love the batter, just basically the one that you will cherish and tell your mate about proudly if you can get the batter out.
The coach shouted to just let the batter go. Give the batter a free walk, give the better 4 balls, don't try to strike the batter.
It was last innings,tied score, and if I let my ego got the better of me, there is big chance the batter will hit me for home run and lost me the game. Doomed me forever.
But hey, its me. I've waited forever for an opportunity like this. To finally get what I really wanted to. Its worth the risk, its worth ignoring everybody who tells you to back away. Its worth it. Because I really wanted it.
Adrenaline rushed to my head.
First pitch, I threw it right into the strike zone, batter didn't swing at all.
Strike.
2nd pitch, obviously time to play it safe and pitch outside the strike zone. But there was something. Something in the batter eyes, some signals that the batter responded.
Encouraging
Awkward happy feeling
Gotta throw the 2nd strike now.
And it is a strike.
Its 2 strikes now, 1 more and the batter is out. The batter clearly has responded, it has same mutual feeling that signals that it wanted to battle.
One more.
One more strike and I got the batter out.
Doubts creeps in.
Now this is the part where your logic comes in. The first two pitch was pure emotion. This one is logical. What if its planned by the batter? What if the batter hit me for home run? What if my team lose?
Self doubt. So close to your goal. Long time goal.
3rd pitch, high up, outside the zone. Batter didn't swing. 1-2 count.
I missed it
Damn it I missed it
What do I do what do I do. So many constraint, people telling you to just walk away, let it go, but why am I keep doing this? Why am I insisting. This is madness.
4th pitch, even more outside of the zone. This is frustration. Its an even count, 2-2
5th pitch, what the hell, I'll pitch it dead centre. Time to end this.
Batter hit it, hard. It flew away, but into foul territory. Miss hit. Had that been hit properly, that would be game over for me.
Too close.
6th pitch, because of the previous one, this one again missed the strike zone. Count is all full. 3-2
In short, this is what can happen next:
1. Throw it in strike zone, batter swing and miss, I'm delighted.
2. Throw it outside strike zone, batter swing and miss, I'm delighted.
3. Throw it outside the strike zone, batter didn't swing, the batter gets a free walk to first base.
4. Throw it in the zone, batsman hits, home run, I lost the gamble, shamed on head. Game over.
5. Batsman fouls it off and we'll continue this battle over and over again.
And in the end, the number 5 keeps on happening. Foul, after foul, after foul. Its like we were locked and destined to be forever battling the uncertainty.
But it can't go on forever. Something got to give.
I was tired. It was the 16th pitch that I had to throw. Time for the final gamble.
The curveball
The one that moves in the air, the one that can caught the batter off guard. The one that is slower in the air to caught the batter off balance. It was the perfect ball.
But I haven't perfected it. Its hard to throw. Its hard to control. Got it wrong, and its gonna be home run for sure.
But its the gamble. I'll just throw it and see what happen.
Yes.
Leave it to fate.
So I threw it, it cuts in, it moves in the air, the batter froze. Didn't moved. The ball reached the catcher glove.
"Ball", said the referee.
The batter is gone. It gets a free walk to first base.
Anti climax after that long duel.
What happened?
Well, logic got the better of me. I knew the risk was too big. I had decided that it would be a curveball, curving out from inside the strike zone and ended up outside of it for a ball.
I knew I was gonna let the batter go.
But secretly I had hoped that the batter would respond to me. To swing. To miss the ball, so that I can get the batter out.
But the batter didn't. It did what it had to do. Didn't swing at all, frozen watching the ball went outside the zone for a ball.
I didn't get the batter, finally.
But I didn't lose the game. There is still hope. There is always hope.
The batter is still in the first base, still need to run through 2nd, 3rd, and finally home base. There is still element of uncertainty. Whether the batter will reach the home plate and lose me the game.
But I have certainly taken myself out of the equation. Whatever will be, will be. But it will be outside of my power.
We can only put an effort so much, but in the end, its back to reality.
and the story goes....
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