Sunday 6 November 2011

How hard can it be?

So the title of this post, does inspired from what Jeremy Clarkson always said when he is faced with some silly, but tough challenges. Basically just some question he throw around, before he goof things up.

The subject though, isn't. A while ago me and the HR team were having lunch. As the youngest member of the team, is customary of me answering some question about marriages. Because in their eyes, they see me as someone who doesn't interested in it at all.

Which is probably true.

I tend to over think of something, lots of analyzing stuff, which sometimes drives people mad. One of the other young member of HR, obviously older than me, were barracked around with same question as well.

"What kind of woman you guys want?"

Strangely, me and him have almost same answer. We all want a non complicated woman, not a whiny one, and we both doesn't want a marriage party. We'd rather spend the money on a house or something.

The feedback that we received were, supportive really. From peoples experiences, things will get much more complicated after you got married. Which is why we are looking for a non complicated woman.

To all the gentlemans everywhere, imagine your girlfriend now, soon to be your wife.

Imagine if they nag you of small things. Forgetting a call, talking to other woman, playing video games, hanging out with your mates, not coming on the weekend because you work 800 km away and etc.

Imagine they get upset on all this.

Now imagine what will happen after marriages. Things will be much more complicated, they will demand MORE, and your life has just been screwed.

I do realise that a non complicated, no fuss woman is almost, to some degree, non existence. But for the sake of it, please just pick someone who is less complicated. Who doesn't get into your nerves every so often.

But the question now is,

What if, you yourself is a complicated men?

Like me?

Hmmm....
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Saturday 10 September 2011

The obvious question

I never get womans obsession with marriages.

No, seriously, i simply dont.

You see them talk about it all the time, you see them whinge and whine about their friends are having a wedding, their besties is now married, and finally the inevitable question (or envy) pops up in their mind.

"when is my time"

Woman are sorts of piccadilly on this matter of subject. They like being teased about it, and then denied the question of "when?" with a red-ish cheek, and in the end just basically drags their man to sit down and ask the question,

WHEN?

Now this is the hole that usually mans fall into. Failing to response to  this kind of question will result in a disaster, in which woman think the man isnt serious with them. Promising/setting a long date of time in the future will result in....constant nagging and request to makes it come sooner.

Right now there must be lots of woman denying this.

"All we want is a warranty"

Yes i know, but imagine this. Imagine that this is january. Imagine that your birthday is in December, and you are allowed to ask to your parents one gift for your birthday present. Any gift that you desire.

imagine....

Me? well obviously it would be Toyota Sprinter Trueno AE86.

Imagine now that your parents bought it the next day right after you wished it, but then says to you that you can only see it, you cant touch it, you cant have it yet, you cant ride it, cant do anything to it until December, which is your birthday.

Guess whats gonna happen? in the end everybody will just nag about, "oh please can i have it sooner", or "oh please can i just touch it", "why cant we have it sooner?", "whats the difference between now and then? why wait?" and etc etc etc. The deepest desire is still the same.

You just cant get somebody to sit still and waits for their present.

So, man, boys, whatever you are, i've been counseling lots of people, and one thing i could tell you is that, never ever promise that its gonna happen SOON. Do it when it is the time. The hust in time system. Otherwise you will cope an instant nagging all the time.

And if your missus starting to open a conversation about it, and you have nowhere else to go, best to do what @radityadika said,

Pretend to be dead.

Saturday 3 September 2011

Jakarta - Solo

In line with my last post about travelling by buses,

I sort of know that my Mudik trip will be somewhat a walking disaster. I knew it was going to be ugly, i knew it was gonna be grueling journey, yet i stood there and does my best impersonation of Jeremy Clarkson's famous sentence:

"How hard can it be?"

the answer was, bloody hard my friend.
I arrived at the bus terminal around 3 PM. It was the typical Indonesian bus terminal. It was shoddy, it was dirty, it was loud, and you see dead body lying around all over the place. Okay, the dead body might be an exaggeration, but they will be dead when they arrives at their destination by the looks of thing now.

The bus suppose to come at 4, but my gut instinct saying that it will arrives at 4 AM instead of 4 PM. I was partially right, my designated bus got stuck in a massive traffic jam and will arrives sometimes at midnight. I was pretty much forces to take an earlier bus, although it was a lot lesser class. Sort of moving from super executive to executive class. Being an idiot, i obliged without any hesitation.

The bus turns up at around 7. It was a small bus, outsourced from other company, simply because none of the buses has arrived at the terminal. So it was a pretty makeshift bus kind of thing. The condition was allright, 24 seaters, mid range kind of buses, the seat was made to be impossible to sleep on to, but surprisingly the leg room was great. No toilet in it, which i think was great, because indonesians have this silly habit of making the lavatory smells as if it hasnt been cleaned for 6 years in only 5 km of the trip.

Bus went, bus go, i fell asleep and immediately the bus stopped. It was the usual traffic jam. Didnt know where it was, all i know it was pitch dark and we have all this other buses beside us. It was a complete standstill, we probably went at a rate of 1 meter per minute or so and it was damn annoying. 

To worsen the time, the bus co driver put in a music (or a video to be exact) of somebody called Mansyur S. I am sure some of you have heard of the name and couldnt exactly remember who it was. All i can say is, go look him up on youtube and if you managed not to puke after a full song, i'll give you $10 of monopoly money. Go, i dare you.

Decided enough, i went to sleep again. Not forget to do saur, at 2 AM, because i was so sleepy, and when i wake up at around 6 AM it was a clear sky. Our busses has taken a stop to breathe and there was still huge traffic around us, but at least its all moving. I grabbed my phone, checked on the GPS location, and i almost fainted when i found out i hadn't even made it to subang yet. This was suppose to be a usually 2 hours journey. It has now turn into almost 11 hours already.

Already, my "how hard can it be?" tag almost turns into "can i die now?"

Cirebon, Brebes, Tegal, it was all awfully hot. Not to mention the fact i hadnt drink much water in previous night and i was still fasting too. Felt like an awful dehydration was coming my way, but i just cant give up then. After a further 10 hours, it was almost time to break the fast. We stopped by alas roban and i was desperate to find a wall charger for my phone. Finally i got one, for free,after some smooth talking with SPG from indosat *eheemm*

One thing i always feared of in every mudik trip is the road after semarang, heading south. Ungaran, salatiga, Solo. Its always been a nightmare for me. But on this one it was just so empty and dellightful. It took less than 1.5 hours and i was finally home.

It has taken 27 hours, Mansyur S almost cost me my sanity, i almost dehydrated by the weather, but somehow i managed to survived. And im proud to say im survived. To all other people who takes train and plane, i can only say one thing.

You pussy :p

Saturday 27 August 2011

Travelling in Indonesia

Its just so happen that I like travelling. For me, the more messed up my trip is, the more challenging and fun it is.

I've been travelling a lot lately. A lot that if you accumulate the miles, I think it would be about the distance between earth and neptunus.

Well, not really. But anyway...

There are distinct differences about travelling in indonesia. You can either travel by plane, a train, or a bus. Here are my takes on them:

1. Plane
Plane is the most convenient way to travel, no doubt. You can book stuff via internet, swipe your card and walaa. Unfortunately, I'm not the kind of person who can stick around and look for the lowest airline ticket. I just couldn't be bothered. To me, its about just picking up the phone and order the ticket. Can't be bother bout selecting

Which is why I usually take plane on my business trip. Let's now see about the ambience. The airport is a funny place. Its this lifeless, structural chaos that instantly engulfed you when you are there. Plane late for half an hour? You will be pissed. You expect everything to be properly in order, and when it doesn't, you'll be pissed off. The ticket looks sophisticated, with boarding pass etc. Security is top notch. After all, it is expensive

The people who travel with plane are generally of the highest (or medium to high) kind of people in indonesia. They eat KFC like there is no tomorrow, and coffee feels like a must before every trip. Their clothes are a match, usually gucci and polo or some other things, or if I'm there, expect me to wear a t shirt only. As usual.

2. The train
Train is a mystical journey. Its the feeling of a fun, warm and bloody freezing (if you travel using dwipangga and such) that will greet you upon your trip. The station itself is a hit and miss affair sometimes. It can be a bloody mess, but its generally tidy.

The schedule of a train is a pain. Again, you will expect everything to be just in order. And since I think people catching train is the kind of people from medium level in Indonesia, piss off is always in order if a train comes late. The ticket looks like a hybrid between type pe writer and computer, nothing fancy. Security is kinda in between. You sort of feel safe, right until you lost something in front of your eyes when you are asleep.

3. Buses
This is the grandaddy of them all I think. Simply put, you can expect....nothing. Its not fancy, it will be late, the terminal is a mess, the ticket looks crap, but it all makes sense somewhat. After all, you pick chaos to ensued.

Who cares if its late, who cares if traffic traps you for 24 hours, buses is the most bareback, as true of an adventure you'll get.

Leave your preferences down in comment below. Cheers.
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Sunday 7 August 2011

My take on Transformers 3

So last night i just saw Transformers 3. Now honestly, i've had the DVD copy for about 3 weeks or so but i just couldnt be bother to watch it.

Now lets get the most obvious thing out of the way first. The special effects were top notch. It just blows your mind really seeing all those carnage and robot transforming in all full details. Come and be careful not to drop your jaw on the floor.

Now as good as it was, the story was mediocre i think. It was setting up very well, but it just doesnt go to climax nicely. The ending and the road to finale in the movie was, crap at best.

Spoilers alert if you havent seen the movie.

3 things annoyed me:

1. Too much cheesyness

"oh my god i love you" is so unnecessary when the villain is about to blow up the earth/do something bad to it. You've got your full party ready to go and whoop some decepticon ass and all the Sam does is talk to his girlfriend trying to get the romance going.

WTF?

Why cant Sam just go and say "Later hun, got some metal ass to whoop. DIE YOU F***** PIECE OF S*** DECEPTICON B**** ! ! ! ! " all while brandishing 10000 bullets of M16 ? i mean, seriously...it was annoying back in those 2 movies before, hell it is still annoying till now.

2. Autobots is a d***

First Optimus was pissed for no reason to earth. Then Optimus trusted wrong Autobots, which ended up betraying everybody, and instead of trying to get everything right and kick some Decepticons butt, he just went:

"we'll be leaving"

leaving? seriously Optimus? yes of course it was all just a diversion and you came back like a hero, but isnt that a bit late after almost all the Chicago area were destroyed? after all those Billion of $ lost? even after he showed up (flew around like an idiot) and slain some Decepticons like a Rambo on a viagra, guess what he did? got himself in a tangle...and even called in his friend to set him free from the tangle.

Way to go Optimus.

In the end, it was nice though. Megatron came over and helped em out. Optimus then said thank you to Megatron by ripping his head and his spine from his body. Wow.

Autobots? i dont think they did anything really. The gang came late, brought no real weaponry, and all they did was getting captured. Gee. Didnt they plan anything while they were away on retreat? like lets say, bring lots of artillery and just rain the bullet from above to the decepticon below?

*bangs head to the wall*

3. Megatron change of heart

Megatron is a psycho. How come a girl who never speak to em before managed to convince him to do something serious is just....beyond me. I mean, cant we get a better script?

I rest my case

Friday 5 August 2011

Filosofi sendok

Gua adalah orang yang males.

Males terutama dalam hal makan memakan. Hell, kalo baru males, gw bisa seharian lupa kagak makan.

Tapi yg paling males dari dulu adalah dalam hal bikin makanan. Entah kenapa dari dulu gw selalu prefer makanan yg udah jadi. Dalam artian, mendingan beli daripada masak/bikin sendiri.

Dulu gw 4 tahun ngekos di yogya. Selama itu pula gw tiap hari jajan makaaaannn mulu. Supermie, jajan. The panas, jajan. Kopi, jajan. Hampir semua yg gw makan itu jajan semua.

Fenomena sinting ini tercermin di kamar kosan gua di yogya. Selama ngekos gua cuma punya dispenser satu, itupun sharing ama temen gw. Nggak ada piring. Nggak ada mangkok, gelas, garpu, sendok, nothing. Kalo minum gw recycle lagi tuh botol air mineral jadi tempat minum.

Actually all this does make u wonder how the hell did I survived 4 years right? I'm amazed myself. Jawabannya cuma satu, Circle K depan kosan :p

Setelah skrg di jakarta, kamar gw ada semuanya. Well sekarang at least ada dispenser buat aer panas ama dingin. Gw pun mulai rencana untuk menggiat. Apalagi pas puasa ini, secara semua2 akan gw jabanin sendiri. Dulu pas di yogya 4 tahun diajak saur ama ibu kos terus :p

Gw mulai beli peralatan. Sendok, garpu, gelas, mangkok (lebih versatile daripada piring), koko krunch, susu dancow, mi instan, semua gw siapin buat apa2 tinggal seduh dan jadi.

Nikmat juga ternyata, kagak perlu2 lagi keluar kamar kos :D

Tapi kebahagiaan gw short lived. Seminggu masuk puasa, sendok gw ilang. Biasanya gw taro di atas koko krunch, skrg ilang tanpa jejak. Jatoh juga gak ada di bawah, keselip juga nggak, nggak ada di mana2.

Gw dongkol. Kenapa?

1. Tau gitu gw beli lagi tadi pas jalan di penville

2. Tu sendok adalah simbol.

Simbol? Iyah simbol. Emang lebay sih, tapi seumur idup ya oloh jarang bgt gw mau apa2 bikin sendiri, bisanya cuma beli doang. Tu sendok bikin gw beregerak, untuk nyoba hal2 baru.

Sepele mungkin bagi orang lain, apalah itu sebiji sendok. Tapi bagi gw itu monumental.

*bagi yang mau muntah, dipersilahkan*

Siapapun yg ngambil tu sendok pasti jenius. Ada PS3, ada duit cash yg gw tinggal, ada laptop, ada hp, yg ilang tetep cuma satu.

Sendok

Its like, jleebbb, dalem kena ke gw.

Konyol sih, but yeah. You learn something new everyday, even from sendok.
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Saturday 30 July 2011

4 wrongs, and still not right

Everybody knows that I works as an HR. They would usually greet me with an annoying question of:

"How did you end up there?"

To which I replied,

"It would be longer than the whole episodes of Harry Potter 7 if I have to tell you the story"

Now, as an HR, I would usually suggests people to go with their passion when it comes to looking for a job. There is no use applying for a job if you have no clue at all about it.

But then again, when I asked peoples, they usually know nothing about their passion. It is essentially a delicate thing. Take me for an example. I like traveling, cars, computers, video games, random oddities, and bit of writing here and there. Naturally, one of those passions supposedly will connect to your job. I still manage to keep all those passions in check all together.

But for passion that is specific for jobs, I would be such a bad example. Back then I use to just totally love video games. I swore to myself that I will someday create a game, become a programmer and all those whiz.

I did actually then learned programming. HTML back in year 8, skinning a winamp skin, learned bit of C++ logic and so on. When I came back to indonesia, in SMA I made a crucial choice of not actually picking IPA and instead went to IPS. The force of the dark side were stronger then :p

Which then shuts the door for me to go to university and studying computer stuff, effectively. But it doesn't matter, because computer and such is a hobby, so I just have to learn it on my free time.

So then I had to learn something and something new to prepared for University. I decided to learn how to write, how to speak in front of public, to go to Communication faculty just like what my mother does. In the end, the plan went ashtray because of my idiot tendency to try silly things. Back then I thought UGM only gives 2 choices, instead they gave me 3. Being not such a clever kid, I naturally think that there is no way I can make it to the 1st choices. So I put communication on number 2 and decided to put one of the highest pick up there, management.

Yes, just for the fun sake of it.

When the announcement came, it just totally shocked me that I have to go to Economics. Oh god. I wasn't really keen, but my parents were looking eager to see me try. Well okay....another passion needed to be pursued then.

Long story short, I studied marketing, taught bit of marketing (and HR), went to microsoft competition as marketing thing, and basically was all marketing.

Look where I am now? :p

So the trend is, I managed to drag myself out of my comfort zone somehow and still lives to tell the tale. Probably I'm gonna be a president or something in the future, you never knows

*yeah right*


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Sunday 17 July 2011

How to pick a male related species

Allright,

The reason im writing these is because i got fed up with girls asking for advice whether their romeo is the right one or ehether their romeo is simply a Phantom of the Opera on disguise and ready to jump with a chainsaw ready to break someones heart.

Yes that last part was a bit over exaggerated, but anywho, this so called "guides" is actually really simple. Based on everyday things that boys/men do. I mean, if you dont catch it, well then i think its a hopeless case. On your side :p

Lets get cracking

1. Sporting team

You can safely bet on the Chewbacca's hairy chin that boys/men must have a sporting team that they follow. Whether it be soccer, baseball, soccer, soccer, soccer and soccer (cant think of any other, sorry), they must have one. Unless your man is a bit of a twig who doesnt like sport.

Knowing about it can be as simple as a case of asking what team they support. Trust me, they'll gladly explain that to you. Now is the hard part. Its time to analyze the team. You can sort of have a much more understanding of a person based on the team that they suport. For example, your guy use to support team A, but because they went shitte, he know support team B which is now lots and lots more richer and winning.

isnt that telling something?

the other thing that you can look at is from the team characteristic. Now i know this one is hard for you ladies out there. It is as hard as us men trying to understand why it takes an hour to put on a makeup on you ladies.

I can;t exactly generalize it, but the team that they pick is usually the one that fits their ego, personality, and themselves. In a way, a team characteristic actually mirrors the person who support it.

2. Video Games

Now, as far as i know, finding a guy this days who doesnt like/play games is like trying to find a girl who doesnt wet themselves every time they hear the words Juston Biebor or Twilikht. If you think your men has been playing games too much, it is just their nature. Would you like your men playing around with other girls rather than with a simple video games? i thought so. You'd be an idiot if you put a guy down because of his video game.

But this isnt my point really, my point is, take a look at him when he plays a game. The way they react (calm, shouting, etc) can tells lots about a character of a person. For example Mr A is playing with Mr B. Mr A been kicking Mr B ass'es all over the place. The point is, although Mr B is losing, he wont give up until he can beat Mr A, which he would then shout in joy and gloats "THE WORLD IS MINE BABYYYY"

You see the picture?

Obviously whichever way you'll interpret this is up to you.

3. Take him on a holiday

This is the ultimate. I've emphasized this to god knows how many ladies out there. If you want to see the real characteristic of your men, take him up on a holiday. Whether it be the scorching heat, drenching rain, missing out on a bus/trains/once a month planes, you can see for yourself how your man handles the stress. Or run behind you and told you to handle it all.

No need for further elaboration now i think?

Im off to go and get a pizza. Catch you all later

Monday 20 June 2011

Kebodohan malam ini

Seumur hidup gw selalu minta satu hal. Gw pengen tobat melakukan kebodohan dan hal2 konyol, pengen punya temen yang serius dan...yah pokoknya serius lah. Grown up thing.

Tapi sama aja, kemana aja gw berada pasti gw ketemunya orang yg dodol dan kocak2. Memang sudah takdir (--")

Temen gw malam ini, sebut saja si A. Dia anaknya emang kayaknya pendiem, padahal nyablak dan suka bikin humor2 goblok.

Malem ini gw baru pulang dan ketemu dia di tmpt makan. Datanglah lagi satu oknum lainnya, sebut saja si AH. Jadilah kami 3 perjaka pulang kerja dan sedang mengudap di warung pinggir jalan.

Kalo cowok2 ngumpul tentunya dan pastinya obrolan menjadi liar dan brutal. Tentunya tidak jauh dari seputar per-gadgetan dan....cewek.

*jreng jreng*

*efek dramatis*

It turns out that walopun udah lama tinggal sekosan, si A baru bbrp waktu yg lalu ketemu ama cewe yg tinggal di kamar no 5. Kamar yg gw tinggalin dulu.

Emang sih anaknya yg skrg di no 5 itu anaknya cakep, dan secara mereka emang2 sama2 dari Bandung, si A pun naksir. Bisa diajak pulang bareng katanya tiap minggu ke Bandung.

*selaen dodol dia memang sok romantis*

Mulailah kami ketawa2 dengan suara kencang sambil ngebicarain cewe....

Naturally, pembicaraan pun merembet. Kali ini membahas kamar nomor 9. Kalo kata si A sih "wah dia udah tua bal"

*tawa pun membahana"

Terus si A nambahin: "wah tapi dia gaul bal. Pas malem gw abis fitness, ada sepatu cowo di kamarnya"

Mantap

Si A nambahin lagi: "pas gw pergi paginya, cowonya masi disitu. Baca koran"

Mulailah kami bertiga tertawa najis. Karyawan perusahaan minyak dan perusahaan susu ini memang sakit semua tampaknya.

Puas ketawa ngakak, gw pun bayar. Pas mau pulang, ada yang nyapa gw.

"Hey kamu"

Gw pun nengok. Mbak2 yg familiar dimuka gw. Ahh sepertinya kenal di kantor. Sampe gw sadar bahwa....

Shit.

Damn.

#@*:4*

Gw pengen seluruh dunia membuka tanahnya dan gw pengen masuk ke dalamnya.

mbak2 itu adalah penghuni kamar 9

"Kok kamu nggak nyapa?" Kata mbak2 itu.

Gw udah meringis. Air liur menetes melewati hidung.

"Eee....tadi nggak keliatan mbak" jawab gw.

What else do you expect me to say?

Ha

Ha

Ha

Saat itu temen gw si A ngajak gw pulang. Gw cuma ngelirik si A dengan pandangan yang berarti:

"Do you know who the f* this is???"

Di jalan pulang gw cuma udah nahan ketawa. Gw panggil si A

"Bro, lo tau tadi sapa?"

Denag polos dia jawab, "sapa emangnya?"

"PENGHUNI KAMAR NO 9 DODOL!!!"

*petir menggelegar*

Si A langsung menyumpah serapah.

Hell yeah, kita baru aja ketawa2 kenceng ngobrolin orang yang duduk satu meja disamping kita.

But wait, it isn't over...

Pulangnya kami bertiga mampir ke kamar temen gw yg katanya baru sakit. Kami semua emang satu kos (plus si mbak kamar no 9). Well kecuali si AH. Dia cuma figuran disini. LOL.

Sepanjang di kamar temen gw, kami bertiga cuma cekikikan aja. Temen gw pun curiga. Dia menghubung2kan cerita dan akhirnya memanggil si mbak kamar no 9 ke kamar dia.

Gw panik (+ ngakak)

Si A kabur ke kamarnya.

Si AH cengoh, tapi ikut kabur ke kamar si A.

Gw masi ketawa ngakak2 pas mbak kamar 9 dateng. Sakaw, temen gw tadi ngegedor kamar si A. Dibilang suruh kenalan.

Gw udah guling2 di lantai megangin perut.

God bless these people. Amin XD
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Monday 6 June 2011

The childish thing

I always think of myself as an enigmatic person. Or sometimes you can say a bit childish.

Of course enigmatic and childish doesn't exactly correlate, sentences wise, but i just couldn't think of any more better opening lines :p

What im gonna do here is to start by a quote that i found some while ago. Couldn't quite recall where i read it from.

"The only things that separates man from boys, is the price of their toys"


Everybody can go nuts. That, to me is the exact truth and nothing but the truth.

The reason why im quoting that is because i have just bought this:



Which is a watch (obviously), but its not your everyday watch. Its an Omega. Its an Omega Seamaster. Click here for the spec on Omega site.

*yes its not the real one. Do you think i could really afford a $5000 watch?*

Now for those of you who dont know, that is the watch that James Bond wears. The one that hides a laser underneath, the one that has bomb under the hood, the one that has the detonator hidden in its screw thingy, the one that can be used as grappling hook and among some other things.

I am a big fan of James Bond movie ever since i was a kid. Obviously i grew up in Pierce Brosnan era, and the one movie that i watch so many times and never get bored of is the Tomorrow Never Dies. Story wise, it isnt that good to be honest, but from gadget wise, it was one of the best. If you cant remember which one it is, its the one movie where Bond drive his BMW on a car chase through parking lot and he drives the car from the backseat of the car using his Ericsson phone.

That image stays with me for a long time. I thought it was the best thing ever at that time. I was so impressed that when i grow up, i chose HTC Touch Pro 2 as my favorite phone because i just love the styling of it. *see the pattern?

So.....

What makes you people who you are today? i'd imagine some things you buy today resembles a lot from what you have in your childhood? ;)

I'll close this one off with another quote. This time from the head of coffee and beverages Nestle Indonesia.

"As a child/student, you always have the best time of your life. But you never have money"


Indeed.

Signing off now, take care...

Thursday 2 June 2011

Trying the blogspot mobile

Here I am, god knows 11 PM, can't sleep because of a rainy nose.

Perfect huh? I'm gonna be running 10K on sunday and so far the preparation has been disastrous.

1. I've been eating bit too much
2. The only exercises I've done is walking in mall
3. I have a cold *snoorrrttt

Its not ideal, but come to think of it, I've never went to anything 100% prepared, so makes no difference nonetheless.

If this post works, expect me to write some short snotty stuff as I go along now. Whether it'd be the normal rambling, the f* up I made, or anything, it'll probably be updated here.

That is if I even bother typing on blackberry :p

Adieu.


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Sunday 20 March 2011

Tablet? What Tablet?

Everybody knows that i have penchants for doctors....or someone bit older than me (and by a bit, i really mean a tiny BIT) or combination of both. What most people probably don't know is that i have an upmost hatred for a....tablet.

Yes, a tablet device like these



I mean look at them, they look like something straight of the design of a chopping board.

Hideous.

Some people think that they are very revolusioner and just came up now, little did they know that tablet has been around for such a long time. Its just that the marketing b*stard of that little fruit and co that made it as if its a bloody quantum leap in technology. Hell, Steve Jobs can shit on a CD, pack it and label it as iPoo and everybody would still think its brilliant. Tablets has been around as far back as 2001 when Bill Gates believe that it is the future. Good on ya, Bill. The little shit is all over the place now.

But what i hate about them tablet is that, i see them as having no purpose in life. Its like they are being made for....nothing.

Lets get an example, get a business man, a cool person, alay kid or whateva, who has one of those hideous tablet and ask them this question:

"What do you use your Tablet for?"

i bet you 9 out of 10 they would be struggling to answer that. And if they manage to answer with whatever they have in mind, just answer back:

"Cant you do it with either a netbook/laptop or a smart phone?"

So, i see them tablet as having no purpose other than just to show off and shows that the users who owns it is an ignorant stultus (its latin, check google translate for the meaning)

I always believe, if you are a business man who travels a lot (or don't travel at all), the correct combination for Netbook/laptop and smart phone is a 60:40 or 65:35 . That is in percentage of use of course. Netbook or laptop for heavy usage of processing words, panel, email, whateva and use the phone as an extension of it, to answer email shortly, remind yourself of task, meeting etc.

So where does tablet comes in? when someone said that he/she is using tablet for working, you can immediately realise that it is a lie. Check this example:

1. Somebody emails you, asking for documents and quick, but little bit of details calculation in excel and word

  • Laptop/Netbook: Easy, type everything down, hardware keyboard, no problem.
  • Phone: If you have phone with hardware keyboard, piece of cake too. Bit slower though. Touch screen only? well use laptop. 60:40, remember?
  • Tablet: You scrambled, trying to put numbers in your Big screen, no keyboard devices and trying to type it all down with...emm...how do you get the screen up? put em on a table and type like you would on normal keyboard? or hold it with one hand and type with 5 fingers? good luck to you.
2. Somebody calls you:

  • Netbook/laptop: of course you use your phone, you dummy. 60:40 ! unless you are using Skype.
  • Phone: Pick up, answer, no problem.
  • Tablet: You gonna what? put the whole damn screen onto your ears and looks like an idiot? everybody in the street is just gonna laugh. And trying to use the loudspeaker while you are, lets say, walking, is not practical at all. You gonna look at the person face on screen and walk while shouting endlesly like an idiot looking at a chopping board? good luck, again.
Also one thing that i hate about tablets is just that its basically a big phone. Why would you need a big phone? the OS isn't even prepared specially for tablets yet (yes i know Google will launch Tablet OS for Android, soon, finally) but for know, its an OS for phone that is being stretched out just to fit the big screen. Why dont you just get the phone? its a same thing, does everything the same, albeit, cheaper.

The only environment i think tablet will work is actually in industrial. Like rough work environment. With pen, not fingers only. Imagine you are building something, ticking off works, drawing models, calculating lead time, something practical that doesnt need you carrying papers. It might just work.

But for now, everytime i see you with a tablet, i will ask you what do you use your tablet for, tells you that you can conveniently use Netbook/laptop or phone instead, then i call you a stultus :p

Get a phone and netbook/laptop and your life is complete. Forget about the overpriced, no purpose, marketing bombshell, that is called Tablet.